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Executive function is a hot topic amongst parents of teens. I’m a teen coach who also does executive function coaching. Are they the same thing or are they two different approaches? Kind of both. Let’s break it down.

Similarities between my work as a teen coach and my executive function coaching:

  • Kids choose for themselves what they want to work on. As an ICF-certified teen coach, I’m trained in and committed to a core belief: people are most motivated when they choose their own goals.
  • We start with kids’ strengths. Whatever changes a kid wants to make, I ask questions to help them find proof of their positives. When a teen sees themselves as good at something, it builds confidence in their ability to try, and be good at, new things.
  • I don’t offer “advice.” Teens’ brains are wired to build autonomy, in preparation for adulthood. The last thing they want is to be told how they should do things. Instead, they want to build a roadmap for how they might try new strategies themselves.
  • I do sometimes offer psych nuggets—explanations of what research and psychology say about whatever we’re working on—but I make it clear that it’s the kid’s choice if they want me to share it or not.

Differences between my work as a teen coach and my executive function coaching:

  • At the start of teen coaching, we determine which approach is needed. The kid and I do a “whole life assessment,” and they get clear on the areas where they’d like to create change. When kids want to work on stuff that falls under the umbrella of executive function (often ADHD or ASD difficulties like procrastination, organization, time management, goal follow through, sustained attention, and communication), I go into executive function coaching mode. For other concerns, I use the standard teen coach approach.
  • In teen coaching mode, I follow the kid’s lead on a path leading from where they are now to where they want to be, asking open questions to help them discover what’s blocking them from reaching their goal, what’s worked in the past for them, what resources or traits they might draw from, which of those are appealing, and what action steps they can take to try those out. The resources we draw from are the kid’s own experience, interests, and world.
  • In executive function coaching mode, we focus specifically on the EF areas where the kid wants support. We pull from research-based tools that have been proven to support those specific struggles. I share lists of strategies, and the kid chooses which sound appealing to their brain and personality.
  • I make sure my sentences are short and comprehensible. While many teens prefer sharing about themselves more than listening to others (especially adults!), with executive function coaching kids, it’s especially important that when I speak, I make one clear point, then stop talking. This allows their brain to absorb and process the information quickly, without needing to sort through a bunch of different ideas.
  • Summaries of coaching homework can be helpful. Oftentimes, my executive function coaching kids like me to send them clear bullet-point text messages with the strategies they’ll be trying in the week between sessions. Those concise steps work well for their brain, and they can refer back to them when they’re in challenging situations.

There are countless nuanced elements to every teen coaching session, as every kid I work with has different goals, interests, and needs. But in my executive function coaching role, I use a specific set of skills that work to cut through the brain clutter and help kids create wins.